I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
