I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
