and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
