please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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