Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just found a bag of teeth...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
