you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
