We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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