i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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