Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
