508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
