I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize