Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
