they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
