I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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