I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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