Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i believe in u and ur pee
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize