Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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