are you still at the devil's house?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
