i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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