You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize