take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
