she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
now i know why i became what i already was.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
