Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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