so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
