he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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