Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
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