just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
