It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
