Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
