I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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