Ambien. No doubt about it.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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