I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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