NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
