Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
