dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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