Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
