We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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