Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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