I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
