Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
