Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
