The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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