I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Someone came in the potted fern
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
