Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
