wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
