the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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