Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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