i came on her dog
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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