so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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