i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
