He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
