Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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