this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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