Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
