what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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