No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize