i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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