So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
