So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
