I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
