Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
