Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
